Friday, March 16, 2012

Wides of March

[wahydz uhv mahrch]
Wide + Ides of March
noun

1. Once the weather warms slightly you begin to think of summer, bikinis and vacations - and realize how fat you've gotten over the winter.

Ex. "Beware the Wides of March. One minute you're hibernating away your winter on the couch and the next thing you know you're expected to prance around at some pool party with those extra Girl Scout cookie pounds jiggling all over the place. Exercise early and often, young Grasshopper."

Monday, February 20, 2012

Pico de Guyo

[peek-o de gahy-o]
Pico de gallo + Guy
noun

1. A very small man. Even more appropriate if the man is of hispanic origin.

Ex. "Yeah, I went on that first date with Carlos last night. He was such a pico de guyo that he offered to ride in my bike basket to get to the restaurant."

Monday, February 13, 2012

Galentine's Day

[gal-uhn-tahynz dey]
Gal + Valentine's Day
noun

1. A February 13th brunch with girlfriends.

2. Lilith fair - the angst + frittatas.


Friday, January 27, 2012

Doppelbang

[dop-uhl-bang]
Doppelganger + Bang
verb

1.
To engage in sexual relations with someone purely because they resemble someone else.

Ex. "Amy, don't you think it's a little creepy that Chandra is about to doppelbang that guy who looks exactly like our 70 year old, morbidly obese 4th grade teacher, Mr. Grundelstein? What is she trying to prove?"


Today's portmanteau submitted by Leena! Submit your own!

Tuesday, January 24, 2012

S'moratorium

[smawr-uh-tawr-ee-uhm]
S'more + Moratorium
noun

1. A time period for which all campfire attendees agree to take a break from s'more making for any variety of reasons including but not limited to relieving stomachaches, preserving supplies, lessening sugar highs, etc.

Ex. "Alright, Scouts, let's call a s'moratorium starting immediately and ending around 6PM. And Christopher, once the sugar has worn off a bit, please stop spinning in circles while screaming passages from the handbook."


Today's portmanteau submitted by Lael G.! Submit your own!

Thursday, January 19, 2012

Autocorrectal

[aw-toh-kuh-rek-tl]
Autocorrect + Rectal
adjective

1. A smartphone feature which attempts to remove typographical errors by the user but instead inserts an embarrassing, feces or anus related word.

Ex.


Check out the Top 12 Funniest "Anal" Autocorrects on DamnYouAutoCorrect!

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

Great Danish

[greyt dey-nish]
Great Dane + Danish pastry
noun

1. A pastry so large that it appears correctly proportioned to a Great Dane dog rather than a human being.

Ex. I thought this class would teach me how to finally make pastry large enough to photograph next to my beloved Great Dane, Jorgen Borgensson III. Unfortunately, it turns out the people at ICE had run out of synonyms for "delicious" and had settled on "great" Danish pastry...again.


Monday, January 9, 2012

Hot Flasher

[hot flash-er]
Hot flash + Flasher
noun

1. A person who experiences sudden rises in body temperature and attempts to compensate by quickly removing clothing in an unintentionally revealing way.

Ex. Jenny felt bad that her mom was plagued by the everpresent physical side effects of menopause but she always cringed when her friends sang, "Here Comes the Hot Flasher" during carpool. It took just one instance of flinging a cardigan out the window of a moving car, revealing just a bra, to inspire the song.


Today's portmanteau submitted by Lael G.! Submit your own!

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Gangreenery

[gang-green-uh-ree]
Gangrene + Greenery
noun

1. Holiday decorations, living or fake, that have been left up too long and are beginning to disintegrate or decompose before your eyes.

Ex. Holly felt bad that her own laziness of leaving the curling, brown garland up for months after Christmas was probably marring her daughter's vision of the holiday for life but she figured she was also teaching her about wastefulness or...recycling or...something.


Today's portmanteau submitted by the Goodman family! Submit your own!