Monday, October 31, 2011

Kardashtrophe

[kahr-dash-truh-fee]
Kardashian + Catastrophe
noun


1. A major disaster that will undoubtedly garner national media attention and involves a member of the Kardashian family. Historical examples include sex tape scandals, marriages that end before the boutonnieres have wilted and acquittals of blatantly guilty, celebrity murderers.
2. Any major decision made by Kim Kardashian without the oversight of her mother and handlers...eventually.

Ex. "Did you hear about the latest Kardashtrophe?" "Of course, I did! I'm so glad Kylie is finally getting a share of the attention even if it's because she accidentally sold her best friend into slavery and got a multi-million dollar contract to have a reality show about it."

Saturday, October 29, 2011

Bickle

[bik-uhl]
Bicker + Fickle
verb

1. to change viewpoint throughout a petty argument in order to keep it going.

Ex. "Do you realize that a mere 5 minutes ago you ardently insisted that Honeycrisp were the best tasting apples in existence and now you're passionately campaigning for Fuji? You're just bickling because you have nothing else to do today - do you even like apples?!"

Tuesday, October 25, 2011

Gingerk

[jin-jurk]
Ginger + Jerk
noun

1. A person of the red hair and pale skin variety who acts like a jackass.
2. Most red-headed people.

Ex. Patrick really cemented his reputation as a gingerk when he let out a loud, juicy fart halfway through Mass on Sunday and followed it up with a devilish giggle. The two altar boys seated behind his lectern nearly fainted from the fumes.

Monday, October 24, 2011

Bouquethem

[boo-kay-hem]
Bouquet + Mayhem
noun

1. A state of chaos at a wedding when female participants push, maim or injure one another in an attempt to catch the bride's bouquet.

Ex. "It was absolute bouquethem out there. I had to tackle Tanya, rip out a chunk of Susie's hair and clothesline Jane for this lousy bunch of carnations. At least someone will marry me now!"

Thursday, October 20, 2011

Cowinstondence

[koh-win-stin-duhns]
Coincidence + Winston
noun

1. An instance when one believes they have coined a great, important saying only to find out it was already spoken by Winston Churchill.

Ex. "What a cowinstondence! You think you invented that whole '
even fools are right sometimes' thing but really you're just a fool who misquotes Winston Churchill."

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Keburp

[kuh-burp]
Kebab + Burp
noun

1. The smelliest of all human-produced belches, it results from the digestion of roasted, rotated, stacked meat.

Ex. Bill's keburp was a vile odor that seemed to instantly permeate the room, causing Christy to question its origin, its duration and the meaning of her own life. Its lingering fortitude nearly caused her own falafel platter to make a repeat appearance in her mouth.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Thesissy

[thee-sis-ee]
Thesis + Sissy
noun

1. One who acts like a coward, pansy or little girl as a result of their pending thesis assignment for a class or degree.

Ex. "Stop being such a thesissy, James! Your thesis isn't due for another 2 months, of course you have time to meet us for a drink. You can't just cower in your closet and sob all day... like last semester."

Friday, October 14, 2011

Singallivant

[sin-gal-uh-vant]
Single + Gal + Gallivant
verb

1. to wander about town looking for diversion or excitement with your fellow single (usually drunk) females.

Ex. Sally and her BFF's had fashioned their nautical themed pashminas into some rockin' minidresses and couldn't wait to singallivant around Manhattan in them during Fleet Week. "Land ho[e]!" indeed, sailors.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

Viaggravated

[vy-ag-ruh-veyt-ed]
Viagra + Aggravated
adjective

1. to become annoyed, irritated and/or angry due to an inability to alleviate one's medication-induced erection.

Ex. Bob reached for an Advil but mistakenly popped the Viagra he'd planned to take hours later when his wife returned home. He spent the next four hours storming around the house, cursing the damn thing and furiously trying to find uses for "it" like popping bubblewrap and operating his touchscreen phone.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Esperant

[es-puh-rant]
Esperanto + Rant
verb

1. to exclaim, blather or speak excitedly in a language completely foreign to the listener.

Ex. "Listen lady, I dunno what you're esperanting about but I really don't want to call my manager over - I'm already on probation. Take some extra fries, er, 'los fry-o's.'"

Monday, October 10, 2011

Hangovert

[hang-oh-vurt]
Hangover + Overt
adjective

1. Having a physical or mental state that makes it blatantly obvious how incredibly drunk you were the previous night
(and possibly still are).

Ex. "Did you see how hangovert Will was during this morning's meeting? He reeked of cheap vodka and I swear I watched his cheeks fill with his own vomit before he swallowed it back down. So. Gross."

Friday, October 7, 2011

Pompensate

[pom-puhn-seyt]
Pompous + Compensate
verb

1. to attempt to mask one's inadequacies by acting knowledgeable or cool but instead appearing as a pompous @$$hole.

Ex. "Gil's been pompensating all night; his never-ending rant about the lacking supply of well-patterned pocketsquares on the island of Manhattan was quite obviously meant to distract us from staring at his weak chin. And you don't even want to know what he had to say about the canap├ęs."

Thursday, October 6, 2011

Three Day Bleakend

[three dey bleek-end]
Three Day Weekend + Bleak
noun

1. A three day break from the workweek which involves a holiday celebrating a depressing or dreary event.
2. A three day break from the workweek during which nothing fun is planned or happens.

Ex. "Man, this is a double whammy three day bleakend. I got a whole day off work to celebrate the genocide committed by Columbus and his homies but the grocery store was all out of Bud Light Lime! What 's the point of a day off with no B Double-L?!"

Today's portmanteau courtesy of Shak M.! Submit your own!

Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Foliagitated

[foh-lee-aj-i-teyt-ed]
Foliage + Agitated
adjective

1. Feeling annoyed or disturbed as a result of the changing color of leaves. Psychologists speculate that it is associated events that trigger this reaction rather than the leaves themselves. Some examples include
endless discussions of leaf colors and ensuing, painful holidays.

Ex. "I'm so foliagitated whenever I'm in the office this time of year and subjected to my coworkers' fawning over the "gorgeous golds" and "rousing reds." Remind me to quit before Autumn rolls around again next year."

Monday, October 3, 2011

Ovaryact

[oh-vuh-ree-akt]
Ovary + Overreact
verb

1. to react or respond more fervently than appropriate due to what is perceived to be a high level of estrogen coursing through one's veins. Appropriate usage applies to menstruating and thus justifiably moody females and more popularly in a figurative nature to lame, cowardly or weak males.

Ex. "Can you believe how Doug ovaryacted to his group evaluation by declaring that we were all just jealous of his wardrobe and then storming off to the nearest Pinkberry?"